FIT TO WORK!

Today I had my medical examination for work. Last week, while I was complaining that this was an invasion of my privacy, one of my German colleagues informed me that this is common practice in Europe when starting a new job.

First I was asked all these questions (in French, even though the nurse could speak English) about my age, my parents age, if they were well, had I broken any bones etc. I also had an eye examination (luckily for me with my glasses on!). When the nurse asked me if I had any maladies, I took this as being sick. Which I decided I could in good conscience say "no" as I don't feel sick. After this I had to give a blood and urine sample, which turned out to be my downfall.

Then I went in to see the doctor, who gave me the funniest examination I have ever had. She felt my feet, my hands and kinda rubbed my body all over. Then the urine test results came back. She looked at them, then at me and asked if I was well. At this stage I knew I was caught! Well, yes I told her, I feel fine. However..... then I came clean. Yes I have 1 kidney, its stuffed and I take all this medication. She says, yes because you have protein in your urine which is not normal. So then I have to pacify her by telling her I play sport (lies), I have a nephrologist in Paris (whom I haven't visited yet). Once I tell her this she looks relieved.

She then gets all mothery on me, tells me I should drink a lot of water, that I can come and see her for blood pressure checkups. Then she checks my blood pressure, tells me its excellent (of course in no part due to the 3 anti-hypertensives I take) and sends me on my way.

Not before ticking a little box on a yellow form called APTE (suited to work!).