LETTER TO A THIEF

Dear Sir/Madame,

I am just writing to say “thank you” for trying to destroy my new bike the FIRST time I left it outside. As you may, or may not know, Dazza and I have had new bikes for approximately 2 weeks. Having a bike in Paris is great as it is fairly flat, and you can avoid the metro (which often takes longer, is very crowded and hot). Also it allows you to go riding in the forests at the edges of Paris.

Unfortunately, our building does not have any where for us to keep the bikes, thus we must either tie them out the front on the street, or alternatively, carry them up to our 3rd floor apartment via a tiny staircase. Until last night this is what Dazza (cause I can’t carry the bike) has been doing, but with him working overnight I had no choice but to tie the bike up out the front.

Although I removed the front light and locked the bike up, you still felt compelled to unscrew the back light and reflectors and take them. I also realise you attempted (unsuccessfully) to take the seat.

In the future would you please consider utilising the new strategy the City of Paris is implementing – that is making thousands of bikes available for (cheap) hire all over the city. I hope then you will not feel compelled to destroy or steal my bike.

You now leave me with a dilemma, in that it is a real pain to take the bikes upstairs (and sometimes not an option), but now I am (understandably) concerned about leaving the bikes on the street.

So thankyou, for ruining my day.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. Alli