METRO ETIQUETTE

You would think catching the Metro in Paris would be a relatively simple thing. Its one of the best transport systems in the world. Buying tickets is easy, there are lots of maps and signs everywhere, and trains are frequent. But what you don't realise is that there are unspoken rules on how to be a commuter on the metro. So when you start catching it regularly (especially in peak hours) you realise that everyone on the metro acts like lemmings.... and I can't quite work out how everyone knows what to do. So here are a few important tips on Parisian metro etiquette that will make your trip more enjoyable.

1. When boarding the train, let everyone off first.

2. When the train is crowded, if you are sitting in the fold-down chairs in the doorways you must stand up.

3. DO NOT at any time touch ANYONE. This rule still applies (especially) in peak hour. Even if there are 80 people jammed in together (and I think this is the closest many Parisians get to other people considering many of them live alone) and you have to be an acrobat to reach something to which you can hold onto.

4. If you touch anyone, expect nasty Parisian glares. Or even abuse. I think they must teach Parisians how to give greasies in school because they are all particularly good at it.

5. Hold your ground in the face of nasty Parisian glares.

6. Abuse them in English if they continue the nasty Parisian glares cause it makes you feel better.

7. If people are still pissing you off, start smiling and chuckling.... they will think you are crazy and give you a wide berth!